Why Kourtney Kardashian Wishes She Could Go Back to Her "No-Feelings-B--chy" Self

Kourtney Kardashian's latest confession is the most interesting to read.

In fact, the Kardashians star, who has been open about her own experience with therapy, recently admitted she's encouraged her family to embrace the practice.

"I've definitely talked about it for years with my family because I really do find it so helpful," Kourtney told GQ in an article published Nov. 14, "but I also don't want to push it. You can give them the information, but then it's their journey." 

Despite her own personal growth, there are still aspects of her pre-therapy self she wishes she could revisit. "No-feelings-b--chy Kourtney was a vibe," the Poosh founder confessed, "and it was so nice not to give a f--k." 

But these days, there is a lot to care about, including life with her and husband Travis Barker's newborn Rocky Thirteen, whom they reportedly welcomed earlier this month.

At times, the road to parenthood wasn't always an easy one, as Kourtney, who revealed she was expecting her and the Blink 182 drummer's first baby in June, spoke about the couple's IVF experience on her family's Hulu series before ultimately conceiving naturally.

And then just a few months before she gave birth, the 44-year-old underwent urgent fetal surgery to save their son's life. The Lemme founder, who shares three kids with ex Scott Disick, explained that what she thought was a routine ultrasound led medical staffers to take immediate action.

"As someone who has had three really easy pregnancies in the past, I wasn't prepared for the fear of rushing into urgent fetal surgery," Kourtney wrote on Instagram Sept. 6. "I don't think anyone who hasn't been through a similar situation can begin to understand that feeling of fear. I have a whole new understanding and respect for the mamas who have had to fight for their babies while pregnant."

And although the reality star has yet to reveal the details surrounding Rocky's birth, she has previously reflected on how much she loves the title of mom.

"Being a mother is my favorite role in life," Kourtney shared in a 2019 post for Poosh. "It gives me purpose, changed me for the better, and made me realize there is nothing else I would rather do with my time."

For a look back at Kourtney and Travis' road to parenthood, keep reading...

Months before she began dating Travis Barker, Kourtney Kardashian shared that she wanted to be pregnant again. When a follower asked if she was expecting, she responded, "No I wish." A few months later, she asked another fan on social media to "put the blessing out there."

The pair made their romance public soon after Valentine's Day.

Soon after getting engaged in October, they expressed interest in having a baby together and were hoping to be expecting by 2022, a source told E! News.

"They would love nothing more than to have a baby together," the source shared at the time. "Kourtney has always wanted another baby and never felt like she was done. Now that she's with Travis, she wants it even more." 

Travis had baby on the brain after they celebrated Halloween together—with Kourt dressing as Patricia Arquette's character, Alabama Whitman, from True Romance. He commented on a photo of her, "Our sons name would be Elvis."

The Poosh founder confirmed she and Travis were truly trying to get pregnant in a March 2022 teaser for The Kardashians' first season. "Travis and I want to have a baby," she said, as cameras captured them consulting medical professionals to start the in vitro fertilization (IVF) process.

Kourtney told Access Hollywood just how many little rockers she wants with Travis, gushing, "I would love two, in a dream world."

Kim Kardashian reflected on Kravis' hope to grow their family, telling Ellen DeGeneres, "I think when you find love that you can't live without and there's still a chance—she's in her early 40s—I think they definitely want to see what life would be like with a baby."

In an April episode of The Kardashians, Kourtney said IVF has been "awful" for her. "It hasn't been the most amazing experience," she said. "The medication that they've been giving me, they put me into menopause."

She told mom Kris Jenner that online comments speculating about her pregnancy really affect her. "Every single person on social media is always like, 'Kourtney's pregnant,'" she said. "'Kourtney's gained so much weight.' And I'm like, it's so rude to comment on people when you have no idea what they're actually going through."

It's amore! Their families traveled from their home in Calabasas, Calif. to watch the couple get married in Italy.

The rocker duo shared that they were no longer going through the IVF process.

"We started an IVF journey, but I stopped," Kourtney told WSJ. Magazine at the time. "It was a lot. I took a break to just focus on our wedding and getting married."

Kourtney explained why parenting with the Blink-182 drummer just works so well, as she shares Mason, Penelope and Reign Disick with ex Scott Disick, while Travis shares Landon and Alabama Barker with ex Shanna Moakler and is also stepdad to Atiana De La Hoya.

"We have known each other and I have had my own relationship with his kids for, like, ten years," she told Today. "It does make it really easy. We all just know each other and each other's intentions."

She added, "I came from a blended family... We have experience."

When one fan commented, "Wait a minute, did I miss that she's pregnant?" on Kourtney's lingerie photo, the reality star replied, "Nope, but you're missing a woman's body."

Kourtney got candid on the negative effects of the fertility process, saying on the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, "It really took a toll on my health and mentally...The hormones. The medication. You have to get put to sleep every time. I know it's for so many people but it's just not for me."

As for why they tried it to begin with? "I felt like we kind of got pushed into doing IVF," she confessed. "If you look online, it says if you're over 40 go right away to an IVF doctor. So I felt a little bit pushed." 

Kourtney's new philosophy is that the "timing" will work out on its own: "I feel like if it's truly meant to be it will happen."

When a social media user asked if she was expecting, Kourtney responded that her appearance has changed due to "the after affects of IVF [sic]." She clapped back by saying, "I only acknowledge this comment because I do think it's important to know how IVF affects women's bodies and it's not spoken about much. Also are we still asking women if they're pregnant?"

On a May episode of The Kardashians, Kourtney shared that the spouses were "officially done" with IVF, noting that her eggs "didn't survive the thaw" and that none of them "made it" to an embryo. "People do it thinking that it's like a safety net and it's not."

"We would love a baby more than anything, but I just really believe in what God has in store for us," she said in a confessional. "If that's a baby, then I believe that it will happen. Being happy is most important, and being a good parent to my kids."

They were still determined to grow their family and were trying on their own, she revealed in a May 2023 Hulu episode.

In fact, she told Khloe Kardashian that they were tracking her cycle. "I know that I'm already late for you, but I am ovulating," she shared. "If you give us five minutes to go do something really fast...we'll be back."

Fifteen minutes later, she was back and saying it was a "record."

The couple shared that they're expecting! Kourtney pulled off a romantic stunt at a Blink-182 concert in June 2023, holding up a sign saying, "Travis I'm Pregnant" like in their 1999 music video "All The Small Things."

The pregnant star shared she underwent urgent fetal surgery to save their son. "I will be forever grateful to my incredible doctors for saving our baby's life," Kourtney wrote on Instagram Sept. 6. "I am eternally grateful to my husband who rushed to my side from tour to be with me in the hospital and take care of me afterwards, my rock."

Travis confirmed their son will be named Rocky Thirteen.

Multiple outlets reported Nov. 4 that Kourtney had given birth.